How feedback allows us to bridge the gap between expectation and reality
When we talk to others the phrase of Rafael Echeverria emerges: “One person says what he/she wants to say and the other listens to what he/she wants to listen to”. In her article “Uno dice lo que dice, el otro escucha lo que escucha”, Josefina Bauer mentions that when we listen to another person, mostly we listen to and understand according to our mental model, and it is very difficult that we free our mind from thoughts that are surfing in our brain. This is linked with the concept of active listening in coaching.
If we want to have a real conversation and we want to answer in an effective way when we receive a message, it’s very important to listen to without focusing on our mental models or thoughts, just listening to the other person. This allows us to answer without noises and to be more effective in our reply; therefore, to be more effective in dialogs. However, to answer correctly it’s very important too to know the other person’s personality before we have a conversation.
To know the right kind of message that I should transmit according to each different person’s personality there is a tool called the DISC model (Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, Conscientiousness). I won’t elaborate much on this tool, I have mentioned it just so you know that there is a model that teaches you the kind of message according to the person in front of you. For example, if you communicate with a dominant personality (first quadrant) you should be effective, use data, and be very specific. But, if you communicate with an influential personality (second quadrant) you should focus on experiences and things related to emotions or feels.
In short, when we talk with someone, it is important to know that the other person has their own mind model and their way to see the world. The technique recommends that you should know personalities to select the right kind of message and get better results in the communication. Empathizing and knowing the other person is crucial to the feedback.
Frequent feedback is a basic element in the actual work environments to avoid misunderstanding, frictions, or bad relations among coworkers. Usually, it isn’t comfortable for the managers to give feedback so they use the technique called Sandwich of the Feedback. The sandwich of feedback consists of saying something good (positive aspect), then a negative review, in the better case constructive, and finally closing with a positive aspect. This technique allows the managers to comply with the milestone of giving feedback in the annual schedule but it isn’t very useful for people and teams. Fortunately, there is a powerful tool of management 3.0 called Feedback Wrap that allows enhancing the feedback process.
The Feedback Wrap is not only useful to give feedback to team members, but also to give feedback to any coworker independently of the position. The practice consist of the following steps:
- Describe the context
- List your observations
- Express your feelings
- Explain the value
- Offer suggestions
Describe the context: First, you should describe your context to allow the other person to gain an understanding of your point of view.
List your observations: In the second place, you should list your observations and describe what you saw. Some situations or examples allow the other person to increase the understanding of the situation.
Express your feelings: In the third place, you should express how you felt about the situation. Your emotions and feelings are important here and help you improve empathizing.
Explain the value: In the fourth place, you should illustrate what is important and valuable for you. This allows the other person to identify what is important for you in the future.
Offer suggestions: Finally, you should offer suggestions to guide the other person without directives.
If you want to elaborate on the practice and have more information, you can go to https://management30.com/practice/feedback-wraps/
I had the opportunity to apply the practice with a CoE (Center of Excellence) composed by four Agile Coaches. I’m working in a transformational process in a financial company, and I’m getting involved in different teams that are going through their learning and including agility in their routine.
Frequently, CoE has meetings with Mid-Level and Top-Level Management once a week. In those meetings, the Agile Coaches, Top-Level Management from Innovation, IT, and RRHH; and Mid-Level Management from Quality Assurance, Services, and Digital Platforms interact with each other.
On some occasions, the meetings went well according to schedule and time but other times they lost focus and they turned into a meeting to report the status of each team. The meeting transformed into a meeting to analyze the project management process and not to analyze how well we were with the transformation process or what were the principal challenges of cultural change. It caused frustration in the Agile Coaches from the customer because they felt that the main themes hadn’t been discussed
I decided to give feedback to the Agile Coaches of the CoE using the technique Feedback Wrap. They needed to improve those meetings and I gave my feedback about that situation.
I scheduled the feedback meetings with the Agile Coaches individually. I developed a board in Miro and designed the Feedback Wrap Canvas. The board had boxes for each step of the Feedback Wrap Process with slots to put post-its. The idea was writing in different post-its while we had dialogue in each step of the Feedback Wrap Process.
In the sessions I gave feedback to them following the steps of the Feedback Wrap Process and made comments about:
- Effective and direct communication.
- Abilities of negotiation.
- Facilitation skills.
In both cases, I explained the context first and I referred to my role in those meetings. I highlighted that I don’t usually take control of the meeting. To each Agile Coach, I listed my observations about how they reacted to each situation in those meetings; I described my feelings and emotions; I told them why I considered that their capacity for facilitation and communication was important for their responsibilities in the transformation process; finally, I suggested some tips that they can take to improve their performance.
As a result, they got feedback based on a lot of factors, not perceptions. They understood the profile of their Stakeholders and what skills they needed to enhance their expected outcomes.
As a Facilitator, I learned that it is very important not only to listen to the other person and to know how to design the message that you want to send but also to be clear and to use a sequence of steps to produce empathy and gain knowledge. The Feedback Wrap is a tool that supports you in this process.
In future sessions, I will try to use the practice in groups. I think that will be a good option to provide a context and vision to the teams and discuss how well we are working.
The feedback is great to approach expectations and to get better outcomes in any place of the company. But, if we want to spread knowledge and engagement, we need to use a practice different from conventional feedback. The Feedback Wrap allows us to rise to the challenge.
So, what are you waiting for to apply this wonderful tool? Think that’s very simple and the benefits exceed the costs to apply it.
